Living the Dream

I graduated nine months ago with a degree in English and Creative Writing, and in the time that's past it's been fascinating to see what my course-mates have been up to. That's the beauty of Facebook, right? I now have a friend that's working for the BBC, another that's a full-time carer, one who's living the high-life up in London, and more than I can count who are looking for something - anything - to fill the gap between graduation and The Career. 

And you know what every single one of these people have in common? They are writers and all they want to do is write, but there is no time and they can't afford it and they're too tired in the evenings. We've all been there, and we know how that goes. 

And then there's me. 

For my whole life, I have known that I am a writer; it is literally the only thing that I have ever been brilliant at. If I don't write, then what the hell am I going to do? 

Throughout my degree, people told me more times than I can count that the only thing I would be able to use it for would be teaching. Maybe academia if I sold my soul to Student Finance, but what it boiled down to was I would never be able to make my living doing what I love, because that's just not how life goes. 

I was lucky enough to spend six months in Austin, Texas after I graduated, nannying for my brother-in-law, and this provided me with the time I needed to Look at my Life and Look at my Choices. Because, obviously, I couldn't Get A Real Job in America, I applied to several work-from-home jobs. I wrote for a movie reviews website, I dabbled in writing for a removals company, and I discovered - much to my distress - that I was utterly useless when it came to non-fiction. 

Ugh. What kind of chance did I have in the world of professional writing, if I couldn't do non-fiction? None.

So I took a break, and I played a lot of Harvest Moon.

Then November brought me the blessed gift of NaNoWriMo. I won't go into detail right now - let's save something for later - but during that month I learnt more about myself as a writer than I ever had at university. I learnt self-discipline; I learnt that all you have to do to write is to sit down and bloody well write! No Excuses! And, above all, I learnt to have faith in my own ability.

After all, if I can write a novel in a month, I can do anything. 

Since then, I have not been afraid of different genres or huge word counts. 20,000 in three weeks? Pfft! Bring it on! All sorts of crazy job specifications have been thrown at me, and sure - sometimes I have to sit back and take a moment, but it's all a challenge and it's all experience and, you know what? I am using my degree to what I love.

I am a writer. 

There's no trick; I didn't get an easy break. My course-mates stare at me in disbelief and ask how I do it. I send them the links to oDesk and NaNo, and say there you go. Because, really, that's all there is.

The problem is, we were conditioned to believe that there was no hope and no chance for us, and when you can't believe, you don't try. 

NaNoWriMo was a test for myself - if I failed that, then I had forfeited my dream. If I couldn't be a writer, I wouldn't be anything. But I succeeded because I had faith in my own ability, and now nothing feels impossible. Sure, every step is hard work - there is no laid out path, but isn't that the fun of it? - But I am Living the Dream.

All it takes - literally - is a little bit of faith.