The Feeling

Yesterday, I had a break through and it was amazing. 

I got The Feeling. 

So, for my April NaNoWriMo, I had made up my mind to start something completely new. I began with the title, I had developed my basic cast and a fairly decent plot, and was well up for a new challenge. As far as I was concerned, NaNo is the perfect opportunity to do something new, something that you wouldn't necessarily do usually. 

But then there's my Second Draft constantly at the back of my mind. November NaNo was a complete success, and I love my finished product with all my heart. It is my baby. But it needs a lot of work, like, a complete re-write. And that's fine, I love it and I can't wait to get it Perfect ('perfect', in this sense, means 'so that I am satisfied myself') 

I've been dabbling on and off over the last couple of months; I've done a plan (which I never do) and started it a couple of times, but never quite made the connection I wanted.

Yesterday, I had a breakthrough.

It was never going to be a serious attempt, I just wanted to feel like I used to when I was writing, like I haven't done in far too long. 

So I went back to my roots. I re-read the fic that began it all (more on that later) and I sat down and wrote just for me.

It was brilliant. It flowed; it was *my* style and *my* writing, and it worked. 

But you know what the best thing was? I re-read it later on and I got The Feeling.

Now, this is The Feeling that first inspired me to write. It was the sharp twist of the stomach that you only get when you are the character you are reading, when you feel exactly what they are feeling. When I first felt like that, I knew that that was what I wanted to do - I wanted to induce That Feeling in my readers. That was my goal. And I was successful in that. I was shameless - I knew how to press the buttons, and I knew how to make people squirm and cringe along with my character. 

The hard part is making yourself, the writer, feel the same.

And I did, and it was wonderful. 

I only hope that I can continue along that line with the rest of my re-write, because I think only then will I truly be happy with this project.