The 'I Don't Want To' Problem.

I don't want to, and you can't make me! 

For as long as I can remember - longer, probably - I have wanted to be a professional writer; doing what I love and making money out of it. Everyone told me it was impossible. Everyone told me that the only thing I'd be using my degree for would be spell-checking orders in a restaurant. 

And now, here I am, a professional writer with an encroaching deadline. It's a fairly simple project - a YA High-School Zombie story of 8-10,000 words - a doddle after NaNoWriMo's daunting task of 50,000 words in a month. But, for some reason, I just can't quite bring myself to do it. 

I don't know why; I have it all planned out, I could do it in a couple of days if I really wanted to... But I don't. I don't want to, and you can't make me! 

I have discovered that I am like this with everything, though. It was a constant issue during my degree, it's the reason why 90% of my (reasonably successful) fanfictions are unfinished, and will probably forever remain so. It is the reason I keep myself up at night with anxiety. 

No matter how much I love what I'm working on, I will fight against doing it until the cows come home, I will give myself every excuse not to sit down at my work-space (today's excuse is that I absolutely must teach myself 'A Song for Sienna' on the piano), and I will whine about it until all my facebook friends have blocked me and my wife bans me from the kettle. 

The thing is, I know with complete 100% certainty that, by the time the 3rd of March comes along, the project will be complete. I know this. 

 It's just the getting there that's the problem.