I did it.

15th November -- 15th December.

It feels good.

Pre-Post Jitters

5,000 words to go and I'm getting pre-finish jitters, a weird combination of manic excitement and abject terror. It's the best feeling in the world! Well, one of them.

I'm pretty sure I'll be able to condense 'Guilders' and 'Dragons' down into one, so I'm feeling better about not exactly really finishing-finishing the story. The problem with pantsing is that you end up learning a whole bunch more than you expected to and to do it justice, it really needs more words. I'm getting really excited about cutting it down and focusing it more. Doing that really did wonders with 'Moon Path', so I think that'll be the way to go. 

Yesterday I did 0 words, but I've made up for it today by getting in 3,000 pretty easily. Had a little bit of a a hiccup, but only about 500 words of one so it wasn't too bad. I've come to realize, though, that I really do need to sort out my place name because, well, I don't have any. People names are hard enough, but place names are impossible! The problem with putting off things 'til later is that later never really comes... I did that with surnames and look where that got me!

I also need to focus Aurelia. She's become completely unsympathetic and that's not her purpose at all. Whenever I put her into a scene, she just ends up arguing with everyone. I'm writing way too personally with her and I know I'm going to have to back off and be more objective in the re-write. God, it feels good to get it out though! It's freaking me out a bit how much of myself I've been putting into the story recently, but revision will bring focus and objectivity so I'm not worrying too much. 

Following my good writing morning/afternoon, I'm spending the evening rewarding myself by formatting what I've got and making it pretty. I can't wait to see it in print!

Oh.

It just struck me that in about a week (possibly less) I'll have written two novels in a month and a half.

Oh.

Art, Progress and The Hobbit

Apologies for the lack of updates, it's been a busy couple of days. Tricksy scenes are like buses, they all come at once and then it just gets ridiculous. I'm happy with the scenes individually but, once again, crisis of confidence has struck and I'm feeling paralyzed. Who am I kidding? This isn't going anywhere. It's boring and whiny and full of plot-holes -- oh god! the plot holes! I can't keep anyone's attention with it. It's like an ugly child whose mother thinks it's gorgeous but the whole world knows better. 

*headdesk*

*I* like it, but I'm feeling delusional,

In other, happier news, Hragon from NaNo did some sketches of Dakin for me and I'm super pleased! It's always nerve-wracking asking for art, but I've admired their work for a while and was not disappointed!

Also, we got preview tickets to see The Hobbit today and... well... It's worth seeing but I laughed more than I cried. It was no Lord of the Rings.

Eagles what?

A Good Day

Today was a good day, writing-wise and personally. Made big steps in my visa application and didn't have a panic-attack when I checked by bank-account. I feel like I can breathe again. 

Writing was slow but good. It was one of those scenes that needed to be maneuvered carefully and revised a couple of times to get right, but I'm very pleased with the end product. The characters have done what they needed to do and stayed true to character, which was particularly tricky today. Very much a matter of compromise. I am both excited and terrified of my writing schedule for tomorrow. I'm giving myself the evening off to just think about it. Once I've got past this point, the rest should come pretty smoothly (maybe hopefully??)

Here's some appropriate music :)

Only a Dream by Mary Chapin Carpenter

Distractions

It's so easy to get caught up in everything else -- forums and feedback and blog-posts and keeping up with messages -- that you forget that actually, when it comes down to it, the story is the important part.

What I mean is, I've been so caught up in people recently. Talking to people about writing and reviewing excerpts etc. really does give a similar sense of achievement as writing a thousand words does. It's so easy to forget that, without the words of *your* story, none of the rest of it would exist. It's all just decoration and, at the end of the day, when you strip it all down, it's just you that's left with the words you have written. 

I love love LOVE chatting away to other writers. I love being part of an awesomely supportive community. I love encouraging them on bad days and cheering on the good ones, and I love that other people do that for me too. I love doing swaps and reading NaNo novels. I love feeling like I've played a part in someone achieving their dreams. I love that writing *isn't* lonely.

But, if the internet shut down tomorrow, it would just be you and your words. And I think that's an important thing to remember. 

Oh, did I tell you I hit my goal of 85k yesterday? That was a good time. 

Today my goal is less exciting (but it's an at-home day, so that's okay) I want to get to the end of this scene and get a good hook into the next one for tomorrow. Just a few hundred words, I expect, but that's fine with me. 

Alright, music for the day! I'm on a huge Taylor Swift kick right -- that woman is doing awesome things in the music world right now. Every day I'm more and more impressed. So here's Blank Space.

Ahhahaha when you write a risky thing and you put it up for feedback and nothing updates for an hour and you think oh no too far and each time you refresh you get a little more despondant and then that OH SHIT SOMEONE'S READ IT A WRITTEN SOMETHING punch to the gut that always comes with feedback and then you read and it's like 'Aaaaah :) '

*headdesk*