!!!!

Firstly, apologies for being incredibly absent. It's been a head-down-don't-stop sort of year so far.

However...

I HAVE OFFICIALLY FINISHED-FINISHED MY FIRST NOVEL!

The last month has been spent editing and reading, editing and reading, rinse and repeat, until everything is as it should be. And it finally is. After four weeks of agonizing over the first chapter, it's all pulled together and it's done.

Gonna take a few days, maybe a week, and chill before thinking about its future.

In the mean time, have a glance at everything that's lead up to this moment.

Drafts and notes and notebooks, not including all the un-printed bits and pieces. I especially love that I've found myself going back to all the old scraps, bits I thought I'd never look at again, to add to the final (final!!!) draft. 

And I'm pleased with it. Like, 100% pleased with it. 

It was all worth it.

(Even though my I key gave up the ghost yesterday)

But sometimes sacrifices have to be made.

In other big news: WE'RE MOVING TO OUR FIRST APARTMENT THIS TIME NEXT WEEK! Signed the lease last week and been crazily furniture shopping (bought some gorgeous pieces!) Will post more about that when it's all up and together.

Pushing Onwards

Post-NaNo is always weird, and when NaNo itself is weird, it's even weirder. I have never been a multi-tasker when it comes to writing, and I know this, but somehow my brain refuses to accept it. When I start a project, I want to see it to the end until it's done. Unfortunately, now I have two projects I love equally, both vying for my attention. It's driving me crazy. This is why I wanted to finish Book 4 by December -- to get it out the way and out of my head to clear the way for MP. 

But after, a week or so of beating myself up and getting nothing done on anything (and some much-needed pep from Sarah) I have relaxed. Things will take as much time as they need, and it's okay if I don't finish everything now. So I'm taking each day, each hour as it comes, dabbling in Book 4 and making my notes for Book 1. They're both coming together and it's exciting to see. This is my hobby, and if it's not enjoyable then it's not worth doing. 

As it stands, I'm 62k into Book 4 and about to hit the Grand Finale, and I've done 30 pages of notes for MP. Although I've printed off the MS, I'm making my notes separately in a little notebook (actually too little -- I'm going to need four before it's all done!) and it's working really well. It's forcing me to be thorough and detailed in a way I wouldn't be just making notes in the margins. 

I'm finding micro-editing to be the most satisfying part of the process so far, when everything is there, all laid out, and it's just a matter of fine-tuning and finally getting it to the point where it looks the way you imagined it to be. It's been a very long journey, but the end is in sight and I think I'll be proud of the outcome. *fingers crossed* 

I've discovered a lot of reeaally good music lately, but here's what I'm listening to on loop right now -- Hayley Westenra: Listen to the Wind. I've always loved her music (Across the Universe of Time will always be one of my top songs) so it was really exciting to find something new that fit so perfectly with my WIPs. 

26th October 2015, 15:23 -- The Moon Path is COMPLETE!

And six days before NaNo (omg I can start prepping now!!)

But, wow! It feels so good. It the ending came so smoothly? Like, I know I still have a lot of work to do, but I'm happier with it than I ever thought I could be.

Put out an open call for betas, and have a pretty wide-ranging list at this point. It'll be good to have a feedback from lots of different kinds of readers.

Feel pretty brain-dead so gonna peace out, eat something, and either collapse in a heap or run around for an hour. Maybe both.

That finished-novel-feeling will never get old!

NaNo Season is Well Underway!

There's still three weeks to go, but NaNo is in the air! The forums have exploded with life in a way that I really felt was lacking last year. I love it!! Struggling to come to terms with the fact that there's no way in hell I'll be able to keep up with every thread though! It's great to watch the influx of new NaNo'ers, seeing all the usual threads pop up ('Said is Dead' being a favourite) and my own decorations are starting to go up for the festivities. Kage of RLyis  has made me a beautiful banner,

there's a cover in the works, and I've been chatting with a supremely talented artist and doing my first art swap (eep!) One of my favourite parts of the season is meeting new writers, so it's a thrill to have some conversations going already.

Sarah and I are planning a 15k day on the 2nd (god help us) and although I haven't made a set word-goal, that'll put me in a good position to achieve my real target of writing the whole novel in a month. I expect it'll go over 50k, but I don't think I'll be double novelling this year. 'And I Loved You First' is going to be a much denser first draft, if my inklings are correct. Crazy excited for it!!

Moon Path is coming along. I'm still hoping to finish by November, but I'll be okay if I have to take a pause. The children (by which I mean my adult characters who should know better) have been driving me crazy this week, but I think I've finally wrangled them into shape. Now I have to work out where The Big Reveal is going to happen, and I have a nasty suspicion it should already have taken place. Ugh. But we'll see. 

Here's some music -- 'You Wait for Rain' by Kyler England. It's freakishly perfect for Moon Path. It's been on repeat for the last three days.

Happy writings! 

Musings

First mark in the November calendar has been placed! Sarah and I are doing a 10k day on the 2nd (Now it's announced, we have to ;) ) So excited!!! It'll be awesome to do it at the start of the event when all the ideas are still fresh. Luckily I've got a fair few plot threads that I can dabble in if I lose steam on one. Gaaaahhh! I think I'm the most excited about this novel. I hope I don't fall flat on my face!

Today was an early start, so I'm sitting in Kaldi's drinking mocha, bingeing on Avril Lavigne and typing up the couple of scenes I've been working on these past few days. Still not sure where I'm gonna slot them in... Hurtling towards the end of Moon Path now!

 Been doing a lot of thinking about what I want from the rewrite of In the City of Guilders/The Freedom of Dragons, and I'm pretty sure I'm going to consolidate them both into one book. They'll make for two distinct 'parts' that I think will work for one book. I thought of a title for it last night but I'm too tired to remember it. Got a lot of little extra things that I've learned about my characters in the last year that I can't wait to implement, and a new character that I met in April's novel who I think might turn things around a fair bit. Whatever happens with this series, I'm excited to see it completely complete! I think it's going to be something I'll be very proud of in the end, even if it doesn't get picked up. 

Oh, had the big emotional turn-around in MP and I'm pretty satisfied. The 'moment' needs tweaking just because it's one of those lines (you know the ones) that needs to be really perfect, but I finally got the boys to cooperate and they did a good job. 

Now to rip it all to pieces :) 

Writing vs. Marriage: A Breakthrough

Anyone who knows me knows that I have always had an enormous issue with sharing my stories with the people closest to me (my grandmother is the exception) I don't know why, but it's always been my biggest 'I cannot deal'. 

Since being with Christine, I have worked reeaally hard to try and get over that. For one thing, we met through fanfiction, so it's absolutely absurd not to be able to share. And for another, these are the two greatest loves of my life -- my writing and my wife. They need to bloody get on!

I have been getting better -- I let her read last year's NaNo, and I no longer slam my laptop shut whenever she comes within ten meters. I think they call this 'progress'. 

Still, talking is the hardest part of all. I love it when she shows and active interest, but still I have a tendency to go "hrrrgh blrrrgh blrrrgh" which promptly ends the conversation. 

BUT this weekend. 

For the Red Light Green Light Contest, the top 25 were asked to submit a 30 word pitch on the off-chance they become finalists (aaaargh!!) I have never done a summary in my life, let alone reduced a book I can't even talk about down to 30 words. 97k in one month? No biggie. 30 words in 5 days? Hell No. 

Suffice it to say, I couldn't do it alone. I got to the point where every word looked the same and I just felt miserable. Luckily I have a wife who is wonderful. 

So we spent the whole weekend on the sofa talking through this damn pitch and arguing about comma placement (I like them; she doesn't) and I actually talked to her sensibly about the book and my characters and the world and, wow. It was a breakthrough. I no longer feel jittery and nervous and embarrassed. It's like a wall's been breached and the two parts of me are melding properly, and I feel so much lighter. 

And I'm glad, because I'm reeaally going to need her support in all this over the next few months when it comes down to editing and querying and actually taking it all seriously. 

If there's one thing I've learnt in the last couple of years, it's that writing is not a solitary undertaking.

Even if she does insist upon calling Dakin 'daikon'.  

PoV Nerves

So a fair amount of the draft is switching up PoVs and reorganising them to get the best perspective, and I love that -- being able to delve into anyone's head and get a completely different side of the story. It means I really know my characters well -- they all fully believe they are the protagonist -- and the difference between the way they believe themselves to be and the way other people see them is really interesting. 

But

Today I'm nervous. 

It's Part 2 Proper now, and that means Alyk. 

Alyk is someone who's always given me jip and, whilst I think I have a good handle on him now, going straight into his introduction from his PoV feels like a very daunting process. He has a lot to say and absolutely nothing to back himself up with. He is at once completely incompitent and a self-proclaimed genius. He is cold and warm all at once, and so completely deluded that it's almost him possible to get to the core of *him*. I am confident with his PoV later on, once he's been set up, but introduction scenes are always tricky even with the most cooperative characters. 

I shouldn't be nervous. This is one of the scenes I'm reeaally pleased with, so not much needs to change. It's just Alyk. 

----

In other news, exercise is going steadily and well. I'm pretty proud of myself for keeping it up, and now the pool's open there's nothing better than jumping (ie. walking slowly and wincing) into cold water after a work out!

Been doing a lot of beta'ing of various kinds, and that's got me thinking about genre and different kinds of writers and writing, critique and criticism, but I want to think more on it before writing a longer post about that. 

A Day of Good Things

Bababaaaaa! I finished Part 1 today! Clocking in at 37k! A liiiittle concerned that's it's 10k longer than Part 1 of the previous draft, but it'll all get pruned down later. Debating whether to continue onward and upward tomorrow, or go back and do some tweaking. Maybe both?

Exercise wise, I did double what I did yesterday!! AND I didn't die too hard. Bought some shorts and my first sports bra today, so that's cemented me resolve to actually do this. My biggest problem seems to be my wrists (from carpal tunnel) and my ankles (from my lifelong habit of walking on tip-toes) Not really sure what I can do about this, but I'm hoping they'll both get stronger than more I do.

In other crazy exciting news (to me at least!) I've found the soundtrack from 2002 Peter Pan by James Newton Howard on Spotify!! It's not on the UK one, so I wasn't expected it to pop up when I searched for the Disney soundtrack today but hurrah!! 

How is it June already??

I'm 100% not even slightly ready for it to be June. I still haven't recovered from April, and already people are setting up for July Camp. I really want to participate, but if I do it'll just be continuing as I'm doing. Starting something new would wipe me out probably even more than not resting before April did.

When did years become so short?

I thought giving myself a year to get finished on Moon Path was more than reasonable, because a year feels infinite. Or used to.

Now it's only five months until November, and one month until the next Camp.

I'm getting on well, or at least I think I am, but it feels like time's running away from me hideously.

I think being so involved in the NaNo community makes it easy to forget that Normal Writers take years and years to finishing even a first draft, and it's okay not to write a book-a-month 12 months a year.

It's just hard to remember sometimes.

*collapse*

Anyway, in better news I'm racing towards the climax or P.1, and I've had good feedback on it so far -- only one details that needs cementing. I'm really happy it's all working out, and I feel over the crippling doubts that plagued the first month of this draft. I feel confident in my instincts. It's just... wiping me out.

Give me Bernard's Watch and make time pause.

Happy Montheversay!

Well, Moon Path: Draft Four is officially one month old yesterday, and clocking in at 30k. Not too shabby! 

I'm really enjoying working so closely with old versions -- not having to worry about *what( happens, but focusing on the hows and the twiddly bits. Circumstances (eg. being an idiot and forgetting my keyboard) have meant that I've had to handwrite a couple of scenes, but that's actually worked out pretty spectacularly. Getting away from the growing doc feels a lot more spacey, and -- of course -- typing up again means an extra edit, which is always good! Actually handwriting the scene out of choice today. Have no idea how long this little routine will taste good. 

I can't believe it's almost June already! And that means July is right around the corner and... No. I will not accept it. Time is going waaay too fast! *If* I do July camp, it's going to be completely unpressurized, just keep going as I'm going, maybe a little more concentrated. We'll see. 

I had hoped to have Moon Path wrapped up by July but hahahahaha yeah right no way not a chance. I'm not going to make the same mistake as I did in March/April and overdo it. That was gross and lesson learnt!! 

Got some interesting feedback on a little scene today, and it's inspired me to do another character explanation soon. But not yet. Need to think it through first. But it's interesting to think about the lie between a confusing character and a challenging one, and it's definitely something I'm going to have to watch out for. But, as it stands, I'm going to follow my instincts regarding him unless absolutely necessary. 

Updates & Art

Firstly, big thank you to Hragon (hragon.tumblr.com)  for this amazing picture of Dakin, Laurie and Ammy! She is truly a spectacular artist, and it's really fantastic to see Laurie and Ammy, in particular, outside my head. As a writer, I struggle quite a lot with visuals, so having something outside of myself to work with really helps the story along. Thank you!

In more general news, it's been a funny sort of week. I spent three days on one scene -- struggling through it one day, writing it out by hand the next (because I'm an idiot and forgot my keyboard) and typing it out again. I'm pretty pleased with how it turned out, and how my problematic character has turned out, but it certainly threw off my gameplan this week. BUT today was good, and I think I wrote well today. Approaching the climax of Part One is pretty exciting, and I'm psyched to start thinking about Part Two and bringing Alyk back into the picture. I really feel like I have a decent handle on him this time around, so I'm looking forward to seeing how that pans out. 

Draft Four is such a funny beast. I'm used to the ups and the downs that come with writing now, but nothing prepared me for how much more intense they would be this time around! Maybe it's because I'm putting more pressure on myself to Get It Right and not have to do another rewrite, idk, but it's certainly pretty exhausting! I told Christine the other day that I was nervous about her reading because she's my harshest critic, and she just looked at me and said, "No, you are." And she's absolutely right. I am bullying myself mercilessly, but I don't know how to stop. I can only hope that -- by the end of this -- it'll be worth it. 

A Good Sort of Thursday

I'm feeling really bloody good today. A combination of things -- sitting out in the sunshine with my favourite tea, looking over my MS at 7:30 this morning, planning out my day; getting a surprisingly lovely email from one of my betas; feeling really damn connected with this bloody story and it just all coming together in just the right way at just the right time...  It's not that gut churning hype that I often get on a Good Day, but a softer, warmer -- and actually more pleasant -- sort of happiness that is just sort of sitting with me today. 

I'm feeling zen about my struggle with the beginning, too. It's just something I'll need to come back to later on. No need to either think or worry on it now. 

Another pleasant surprise I've found today is the usefulness of my half-draft I cobbled together during Camp. Now I'm in present tense and utilizing flashbacks more, a lot of the background of my parental characters are cropping up, and I'm finding myself referring back to Shores much more than I thought I would. It's really bloody nice to realise it wasn't a waste of two weeks! I don't know if I've said this before on here, or just to Sarah, but the development of Aurelia and Lysandis from draft to draft are the characters I'm most pleased with and have gone through the most growth. I'm really thinking I can do them justice now. 

Spending some time starting to network beyond NaNo too, just starting small with the Facebook group for The Write Life. Apart from one guy who tried to convince me that his blatantly clip-art cover was made by a professional graphic designer from one of the top publishing houses (and blocked me when I asked which!) they seem like a nice bunch :)

Draft Four currently standing at 16k. Written less this week than last, but feeling very happy with the way it's going.

3rd Draft Complete!

75k, five months (September through March, not including November and half of December and January) And this is the last rewrite. Not it's just editing and tweaking and tightening and the fiddly bits.

And just in time for Camp. *relief*

More later. Knackered now.

Good luck to everyone doing Camp!

Guess How Much I Don't Want to Write Today

Yesterday was brilliant. I wrote 2k in half the time it usually takes me and I finally untangled the last few knots in this enormous ball of wool that's my novel. I went to bed on a high, ready to tackle the next bit today.

Guess how much I don't want to write today?

What made sense yesterday seems ridiculous this morning. 

My writing is shitty, filled with adverbs and adjectives and waaaay too self-conscious.

Coming to the end, my wife expressed her excitment about getting out her red pen to whip it into shape and, when I muttered something about 'no way' and 'not yet', an incredulous 'But this is the third draft!"

And I think that's it.

It's the third bleedin' draft. It should be better than this. I should be better than this. and yesterday I thought I was, but today it's as though I've gone fifty steps backwards. I don't want anyone to see how much I haven't improved and what a waste of time it's all been. 

I'm being silly. I know that in a hour or a day I'll be on top of the world again; I know what needs improvement and changing and how to make it better, but UGH! It's hard not to ket the 'no' days consume me. I can't wait 'til it's done and in a drawer for two months, and then I can come at it with fresh eyes and an unclogged mind. 

Nearly there. 

March Catch-Up

Well, March has certainly been a productive month so far!

Just hit 60k on my WIP, and it's really starting to take shape. I have a good idea what I need to do in the next draft and I'm fairly confident that, after that, it'll just be a matter of tweaking. I don't think I'll have quite finished by April, but it'll just be a matter of a couple of scenes left if not.

Got married on Wednesday (will do a longer post about that when I get the photos back!) now we're recognised everywhere as properly, legally, wifes ^^ Finally!! But yes, more about that later :)

Finally got sorted into my Camp Cabin and, well, it's just about perfect. Most people I've been chatting to for a fair while, and there're a couple of new faces too. Our word-count goals range from 30k to 350k, and everyone's psyching each other up to push themselves -- which is exactly why I wanted to be in an OA cabin in the first place. It's an inspiring group to be a part of! Ironally, OAs have proven to be the most open and the most accepting group of people on NaNo -- they know that anything's possible if only you have the courage to try, and the word count themselves rarely come into it at all. It's much more an attitude than a word-count thing.

So yes, all good things! Having a break from paper work and visa thoughts before we change the visa into a green-card (I don't even want to think about how much that's going to cost -_-) But everything's looking up!

Progress and Fear

I have been struck down by a severe case of plot bunnies. I have three stories I want to write in April, but two is more than enough and one will have to wait, and decisions are hard! So, at the moment I've got Book Four, Prequel, and 'November Rain', which is something completely different altogether. Actually, thinking about it, I suppose a book called 'November Rain' would be more appropriate for November NaNo... But I want to write it *now*! 

There aren't enough months in the year.

Making great leaps with Book One -- well into Part 2.2, and have done well over 10k since being back in the States. Seeing as 10k was my monthly goal, I'm feeling pretty pleased. My hideous case of writers' block that I had in January/England has definitely been left behind me!

The closer I get to finshing the book, though, the scarier it's getting. A good friend of mine has started writing her query letter so we've been talking about the whole publishing hoo-ha recently... It's frickin' terrifying. Not so much the fear of not getting picked up -- I mean, I really wouldn't mind going down the Self-Pub route -- but what if Book One gets picked up, flops hideously and then I won't be able to even self--pub the rest of the series because it'll still be owned by the publisher?? 

I know I know -- cross bridges when you come to them, don't count your chickens etc. etc. But it is scary. 

But talking to Sarah and voicing my worries, she said two things that really struck me. First, she told me that she believes in the story which, as any writer knows, that means the world. And then, more importantly, she said, 'Do you want to give it a chance?' And I guess that's it. Over and over, I've advised writers to leave their fears at the door and just do it -- Be Fearless!! And here I am, considering wrapping my story up in cotton wool and locking it away from the scary world. 

My biggest pet peeve is when writers don't follow their own advice, and I find I've been committing the cardinal sin!

So screw that. Whatever happens, happens. If it fails, that doesn't mean I have to give up writing it. It just means I have to work harder and continue to do my best. The only way I cn fail is if I stop doing my best and let my fear sabotage me. 

No! 

Visa and Writing Updates

And there we are! I have my visa and my passport is coming back to me within ten working days :D The sun is shining and I'm feeling excited about my writing again -- Life is good! 

I've done a bad thing, but a good thing for me -- I've restarted my story again. Well, sort of. I always knew I wanted to go back and redo the beginning and recently I've had a terrible craving for present tense, so I'm doing some experimenting with that; going back and re-reading the stuff I did almost a year ago now, right at the very beginning of the project. And I actually really like it. Definitely going to try and incorporate that into what I've got. I really didn't think I was going to need another rewrite, considering how happy I've been with what I've got so far, but the idea of making it even better as really got my blood going again! 

My goal is to have a completed draft done sometime in March, ready for when Camp comes along in April (!!!) This year is already going so fast! And the last year too... I can't believe I've been working on this story properly for a year! It sort of feels like I haven't got as far as I'd like to with it, then I remember that I handwrote a draft, did 40k of rewrites AND wrote two novels in NaNo... Perspective. Or something! But this year will be better. I know what I'm doing now, and all I need to do is do it. 

Thoughts for Camp... Well, I really would like to do the final book in this series (I, amongst others, really want to know what happens!) but I also want to write Kai and Tamsyn's story as a sort of parallel, and I also want to do a sort of prequel with Lysandis and Aurelia, and I also want to do something completely different although I have no idea what, but I love pantsing! I don't know... I suppose I'll see how much of break from this world I'll need once Book 1's done. 

Okay, so here's what I'm listening to today -- Page 47 from National Treasure 2 by Trevor Rabin. I might've already posted this, but I love it so much! It's such a gorgeous piece of music!