Art, Progress and The Hobbit

Apologies for the lack of updates, it's been a busy couple of days. Tricksy scenes are like buses, they all come at once and then it just gets ridiculous. I'm happy with the scenes individually but, once again, crisis of confidence has struck and I'm feeling paralyzed. Who am I kidding? This isn't going anywhere. It's boring and whiny and full of plot-holes -- oh god! the plot holes! I can't keep anyone's attention with it. It's like an ugly child whose mother thinks it's gorgeous but the whole world knows better. 

*headdesk*

*I* like it, but I'm feeling delusional,

In other, happier news, Hragon from NaNo did some sketches of Dakin for me and I'm super pleased! It's always nerve-wracking asking for art, but I've admired their work for a while and was not disappointed!

Also, we got preview tickets to see The Hobbit today and... well... It's worth seeing but I laughed more than I cried. It was no Lord of the Rings.

Eagles what?

Write-Off

Today was such a bad writing, it was ridiculous. It took me five hours to get into my stride, and then my netbook crapped out and I completely lost my mojo. Asdhjk!! I really wanted to continue when I got home, but obviously my meager attempt is trapped on my netbook and inaccessible until I get a new charger (I really really really hope it's the charger and not the machine!!) So I'd have to start from scratch and ugh! Hate hate hate!

The 'I Don't Want To' Problem.

I don't want to, and you can't make me! 

For as long as I can remember - longer, probably - I have wanted to be a professional writer; doing what I love and making money out of it. Everyone told me it was impossible. Everyone told me that the only thing I'd be using my degree for would be spell-checking orders in a restaurant. 

And now, here I am, a professional writer with an encroaching deadline. It's a fairly simple project - a YA High-School Zombie story of 8-10,000 words - a doddle after NaNoWriMo's daunting task of 50,000 words in a month. But, for some reason, I just can't quite bring myself to do it. 

I don't know why; I have it all planned out, I could do it in a couple of days if I really wanted to... But I don't. I don't want to, and you can't make me! 

I have discovered that I am like this with everything, though. It was a constant issue during my degree, it's the reason why 90% of my (reasonably successful) fanfictions are unfinished, and will probably forever remain so. It is the reason I keep myself up at night with anxiety. 

No matter how much I love what I'm working on, I will fight against doing it until the cows come home, I will give myself every excuse not to sit down at my work-space (today's excuse is that I absolutely must teach myself 'A Song for Sienna' on the piano), and I will whine about it until all my facebook friends have blocked me and my wife bans me from the kettle. 

The thing is, I know with complete 100% certainty that, by the time the 3rd of March comes along, the project will be complete. I know this. 

 It's just the getting there that's the problem.