A Conversation with Michelle Kass

Okay, some background first: my aunt has been bugging me for a couple of months to let her have my first chapter to show her literary agent friend, Michelle Kass, and last week -- following some pep from a CP -- I caved. A day later, my aunt emailed me saying that Michelle wanted to talk to me, so we arranged a skype conversation. That happened today. 

I had absolutely no idea what to expect. I'd agreed at the height of an adrenaline arc, which has subsequently come crashing down this past week, leaving me once again with crippling self-doubt in all aspects of my writerly life. Who the bloody hell was I to presume that anyone would have anything to say about my nonsense, let alone a very busy agent like Michelle. Ugh. Suffice it to say, I slept badly last night. It didn't help that I'd just discovered that my computer's microphone doesn't work with headphones plugged in, and here I was in the middle of a busy Starbucks. I spent the morning leading up to 10am feeling sick and trying to compile a page of notes, knowing perfectly well that I'd forget literally everything as soon as the call began. 

I knew, also, that it would be fine once I got going. 

And it was. 

I was talking to a professional who knew her stuff about my favourite subjects on earth -- writing and my baby. 

She was wonderfully nitpicky, going through the chapter line-by-line, questioning me where I needed to be questioned, pointing out places that needed to be tightened... It was exactly what I needed to move on. 

More than anything, she liked it, and she reiterated that several times. She liked it, but it's going to get better, and that's going to take time and patience. The resounding lessons, the ones I really needed to hear were: Clarity -- Be Purposeful and It will take as long as it takes. These are two things I've been knowing for a fair while; I know I need to slow down and push less, and I know I need to go through and make sure everything is crystal clear. Time and space at the end of this draft will help with that. 

She said, also, that I reeaally need to work out who I'm writing for -- is it YA, is it adult, and what will change in either of these situations? I need to step back and just let myself think and breathe. And that is so true. It's driving me crazy, but the answers will come eventually. She recommended a lot of books that she thinks will help me, so I'm looking forward to taking my reading month at the end of this draft. 

She liked my dedication and my passion, and she thinks I've got the art side down, it's just a matter of honing the craft aspect and bringing it all together, and CLARITY. I'm very excited for the next stage for this novel! 

So, in summary:

• I am the mistress of my universe
• Find answers to all the questions
• Don't get tangled up by your PoV
• Find the balance between art and craft
• Be empathetic to your readers
• Take your time.

And she wants me to send her the revision when it's done. Whenever that may be!

Doubtful Drafts.

It's a very odd sensation, going from first-draft writing -- where quantity presides over quality -- back to third-draft writing, where the point of it is to do it right this time. And, I have to say, it's proven to be quite tricky.

I'm not going to lie -- I'm super pleased with what I had of my third-draft pre-NaNo, but realising that I have to go back to working like that to produce those words filled me with a certain kind of nervousness that I hadn't felt before. I was honestly starting to doubt that I could keep up with myself.

This nervousness, coupled wih taking two days off for the holidays, crippled me for what felt like ages (although was actually only most of a day). The words just wouldn't fall right and the physics of the story was falling to pieces in protest of it neglect (A butterknife piercing a hardwood table, that's all you need to know!) Everything felt trite and dull, and my sentences and PoV were boring as hell. It was unbearable and I was doomed.

Then I had a walk and a bath and, at ten pm, inspiration struck. It was the coveted bolt of lightening, and it struck me hard. So hard, in fact, that the momentum of that energy has carried me well through today. As it stands, I have done 2,000 today (the most of this draft that I've done since putting it down on October 31st) and it's coming as well as it did then.

I am so so inordinately relieved.

It really is delightful, going back to this kind of draft, where every word is carefully picked and placed for the perfect effect. It's really feeling like a composition than words on a page, as the first drafts did, and I can finally take pleasure in the craft of writing again.

That's what subsequent drafts are for, I think -- pleasure of writing. First drafts are for the pleasure of the story, but it's later ones that really let you stretch your wings. I love it.

Distractions

It's so easy to get caught up in everything else -- forums and feedback and blog-posts and keeping up with messages -- that you forget that actually, when it comes down to it, the story is the important part.

What I mean is, I've been so caught up in people recently. Talking to people about writing and reviewing excerpts etc. really does give a similar sense of achievement as writing a thousand words does. It's so easy to forget that, without the words of *your* story, none of the rest of it would exist. It's all just decoration and, at the end of the day, when you strip it all down, it's just you that's left with the words you have written. 

I love love LOVE chatting away to other writers. I love being part of an awesomely supportive community. I love encouraging them on bad days and cheering on the good ones, and I love that other people do that for me too. I love doing swaps and reading NaNo novels. I love feeling like I've played a part in someone achieving their dreams. I love that writing *isn't* lonely.

But, if the internet shut down tomorrow, it would just be you and your words. And I think that's an important thing to remember. 

Oh, did I tell you I hit my goal of 85k yesterday? That was a good time. 

Today my goal is less exciting (but it's an at-home day, so that's okay) I want to get to the end of this scene and get a good hook into the next one for tomorrow. Just a few hundred words, I expect, but that's fine with me. 

Alright, music for the day! I'm on a huge Taylor Swift kick right -- that woman is doing awesome things in the music world right now. Every day I'm more and more impressed. So here's Blank Space.

Writing: A Solitary or Communal Past-Time?

Okay, so we all know the cliche of The Brooding Writer, who sits alone in a darkened, smoke filled room with only fifty coffee cups, each in a different state of decay, for company. The door is shut -- locked, probably -- with a large sign tacked onto the outside written in thick black sharpie:

Keep Out: Muse At Work

The Brooding Writer does not emerge for months, weeks years, not until they reappear -- hissing at the sunlight -- with a perfect first draft clutched tight in their nicotine-stained fingers, ready for press. The Brooding Writer remains in the real world just long enough to make sure no-one butchers their baby, then returns, hunchbacked, to the darkened room, ready to begin again. The Brooding Writer has no care for their readers and their opinions. Afterall, hat difference does it make? The Brooding Writer will write what they write and to hell with everyone else! The Brooding Writer likes a nice thick fourth wall between them and the audience, broken only occassionally in a fit of writers' angst. 

Now, in my time at university, I met a great many people who fit this title. Hell, I even considered it for myself once! It seemed bohemian and artistic and even a necessity to literary success.

For me personally, though, I think I have always been a communal writer. It's what comes from years of fanfiction and craving reviews such as 'Waaahhh what did you do?? More please!!" It's a high that quickly becomes addictive and I learnt the techniques to ensure maximum 'Waaahhh!!' By that I mean supremely sympathetic characters that you torture over and over with wicked cliff hangers. In retospect, I definitely think I treat each chapter - whether in original fic or fanfic - as a little bit like a TV episode.

Each part needs to feel complete and satisfying and, more than anything, have a good hook to keep people coming back for more.

In short, to be a communal writer, you need to have a good connection to your readership. If you want them to care and say nice things, you need to give them something to care about and you need to know how to play with their heartstrings. Be aware, also, of what affects you as a reader. Afterall, No Tears in the Writer, No Tears in the Reader, and I think that is absolutely true.

Brooding Writers are fine, and it's a method that I'm sure works for some, but don't ever think it is a requirment to shut yourself away from the world. I promise you from the bootom of my heart, that there is nothing in the world more satisfying and inspiring than a message from a reader that simply says, 'Wow.' Just like that, full-stop and all. Wow means 'You got me. You and your characters did their job.' Never underestimate the meaning of 'Wow.'

And if you want that Wow, you've got to get out there and connect with your readers.

It's good fun too ;)

Advice for New Writers

On the 17th, I will be 22 years old. 

As I progress through my twenties, I am becoming more and more aware of myself - where I have been, what has made me into who I am today, where my own mother was at this point in her life - and I've been wanting to do a post about this in regards to writing for a while. 

I am particularly inspired to do this now as my NaNo cabin has recently acquired four new members - young writers at the very beginning of their careers. I feel very lucky to have them in my cabin; it's amazing to watch them work, and a privilege to offer my own advice in the hope that it will be something that sticks with them. 

I was thirteen when I first started publishing online and writing seriously, and the experiences I had then have most certainly been important influences on what I am doing now. 

Although I have changed and developed throughout the nine years since then, I can clearly track everything I have done and can see precisely how each point in time links back. A long story short: If I had never been a Draco Malfoy fangirl, I would not be here now. 

A list of well-meaning tips for would-be writers - 

• Copy. Shamelessly copy something that inspires you, word-for-word. It doesn't matter, no one else is going to see it, but it is important to you. Don't be afraid of copying - that's how artists learn, isn't it? It's the same for writers.

• Emulate. Take those elements that made you feel and use them. Over do it; be cheesy. Again, it doesn't matter. Inspiration is the heart of writing, so milk it for all it is worth! Write something that you want to read. Other people don't matter.

• Own it. Now make them your own. You've learned what works for you, now make it better. Treat everything as a competition. If angst is what you love, be the best angst-writer out there - twist those emotions shamelessly, and make your reader come back begging for more. Now is the time to learn your market, even if it's only minimal. Always strive to be the best you can be. 

• Experiment. Find new ways of doing it - it's still, fundamentally, the same thing, but push yourself and experiment. Don't be afraid of failure - it doesn't matter. This is where you find your own, unique voice - make it so that there is no-one on earth like you. People will copy you, and when they do, take it as the highest compliment (but don't stand for plagiarism!) 

• Be Alert. You will never know everything, but that is part of the fun of it! Always keep yourself open to new things; take advice when it is given, and know which advice to leave - not everyone's words of wisdom will be relevant to you. Absorb everything around you; it's amazing how much from your real life gets absorbed unwittingly into your writing without you even realising it! Quite terrifying, actually... 

• Be Selective. Of everything. As a writer, you are playing God - no-one, and I mean no-one, can tell you categorically what to do. Take the praise, take the criticism and use it all to your advantage. If you don't trust what someone has to say about your writing, then don't take it. Simple as. You will always be your own worst critic. Of course, learn the fundamentals and strive to be better, but trust yourself above anyone else. Never let anyone tell you writing isn't a worth-while past time. Set out to prove them wrong.

• Be Competitive. That doesn't mean be aggressive or bitchy, or even letting everyone know that you're being competitive, it means working hard to be the top of your game. Working very hard. If your ambition is to become a writer, you will gradually surround yourself with more people who are exactly like you - and they will be competing too. Learn from them, learn from yourself, and don't let their successes get you down - rather, use them to push yourself onwards. Always push yourself onwards. There will be days when you think 'What's the point?' but they are the moments that define you. It is the people who push through those moments and come out the other side that succeed. Writing is half talent and half pure determination; hanging on when other people are giving up and letting go.  

• Finally, stay true to yourself. Be honest in your work, and right about subjects that inspire you, and you won't go far wrong.