It seems, whichever point I am currently at with my novel, it is definitely The Hardest. Endings are tough because everything has to be tied together and perfect; Middles of tough because it has to hold up both ends and not drop you from boredom, and now I find that beginnings are the hardest of them all. You have to set your scene, introduce the world and you character and explain why you are asking the reader to invest in them AND introduce the conflict and themes, and keep it engaging and try not to info-dump and and and...
*collapse*
Beginnings are hard.
With this draft, I'm starting at a quieter point, just back enough that I can show their flavour of normality for contrast's sake. I like my ideas, but I'm struggling hideously with the execution.
Basically it's too slow and there's too much description. It needs to be tighter, but still hold all the information, and not feel stilted and dry. I attempted a rewrite of my first 200 words, but it was truly crappy and my readers -- Sarah and a couple of people on the Critique forums -- basically told me to scrap it. Which I'm more than happy to do.
The problem is (one of the many) is that there's no run up to get yourself into the flow of it, because it *is* the beginning. All the feedback I've had -- good and bad -- says that the first page feel disjointed from the rest tonally and, for the first time, I am absolutely at a loss to know how to fix it.
Basically it just needs to sit, and I need to stop over thinking it (haha! Fat chance!)
Repeat after me: EVERYTHING IS FIXABLE!! My Notebook says so, so it must be true!
*headdesk*
Anyhoo... I promised an excerpt so this seems as good a time as any :P Here is the beginning of Moon Path: Draft Four.
~ * ~
Trouble begins as trouble always does -- with a niggle he
cannot explain and the illusion of a choice.
Sitting cross-legged in the high-backed armchair beneath the
low sloping ceiling of his bedroom, Dakin pauses, momentarily forgetting the
book spread across his lap; dark-blue eyes stilling on the page as he tries to
put a name to the niggle twisting at his stomach, neither explainable nor
ignorable. He tries telling himself that it is just his imagination playing
tricks on him again. Don't go looking for trouble where there is
none to be found. There is enough trouble already without making more.
Dakin shifts and forces his eyes mechanically back across the
words. But they mean nothing now, just shapes on a page. The niggle -- the
worry -- has caught him, and he knows he will not be released until it is
satisfied.
Now comes the choice -- To swallow down his instincts and
stay and enjoy the rare moment of solitary peace, or to follow them to whatever
end they may inevitably lead.
Tucking a wayward strand of long grey hair back behind his
ear, Dakin swallows and folds the book reluctantly shut. There is no choice.
Not really. Only the taunting illusion of one.
Bare feet carry him silently across the room, low-lit and
sparsely furnished. Everything he loves, everything that is precious to him, he
keeps downstairs in his brother's room. He prefers it there, amongst the
clutter and disarray. His room is for quiet, and for secrets. It sees him at
his worst, as the person he doesn't want to be, and Dakin wants to keep that
person locked away in this room -- confined, protected, and kept away from the
things and the people he loves best. They have to be kept separate otherwise
they will be spoiled. He has to keep himself separate. The only person to see
him as he is here, to see him as he really is, is his father. He knows all of
Dakin's secrets.
Perhaps, if he can catch the trouble before it begins, it
will be okay. Perhaps the niggle really is his own over-active imagination,
nothing more than a baseless worry. Perhaps.
A wry smile quirks in the corner of his mouth. At twelve
years old, he should know how it goes, should stop trying to fool himself, and
should know -- by now -- that his instincts concerning his little brother are
never wrong.
~*~
So there you go. The beginning. I like the flavour of it, but it needs straightening out (especially as it goes on!) And once it gets about a page in, I'm on a roll and it feels but better, it's just a matter of getting there that's the problem. I wondered about starting a little later, but Sarah agreed that it's a good setup, just needs reorganizing.
Soooo much reorganising!!
By studying writing and watching youtube videos on authors that tell you how to write a good first chapter, there is SO much pressure to get the first page of words PERFECT OR ELSE!! But honestly...don't let the pressure of what other people EXPECT the first page to be influence how you want to write it. Then it will never flow the way you want it to.
ReplyDeleteAnd yes, your notebook is correct: everything can be fixed. The secret to writing, is rewriting!
Now I don't know if you are looking for more feedback, so forgive me if take the leap. But if you think the excerpt you posted is too slow, then start the chapter with the character "moving." Action! What if you put the last paragraph first? He knows something is up with his brother - so he moves across the floor. As he walks, describe his room like you did and the books on his bed. As he goes outside and closes his bedroom door, describe how he wants to leave his secrets in the room. All of this can happen as the character is moving toward the target.
Just my two cents - happy Tuesday and write on!
That is really true! And thank you for the feedback, I completely agree -- it needs more action. I read somewhere yesterday, actually, that you should never start with a theme or something intangible, rather you should always begin with something the reader can anchor themselves to, and that really struck me. I think I needed to read that at exactly that moment!
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