Day the Third, and the pressure begins!

I  always knew this day was coming - the day when NaNo starts to conflict with work. Now, before you get too excited, nothing dramatic happened; it wasn't a Sophie's Choice moment, and I didn't get fired or anything. Just a little note in my inbox from one of my lovelier clients asking how I was getting on.

To problem is, I haven't been getting on. Not even a bit. 

The problem with falling absolutely in love with a project - as I have with 'The Moon Path' - is that that becomes all you want to do with your time. An hour in the evening isn't enough, five hours in a coffee shop isn't enough. A whole day isn't enough! I want to be writing it twenty-four hours a day, three-hundred and sixty-five days a year for the rest of my life! Of course, I cannot wait until it's the finished polished piece in my hands, but, equally, I'm dreading the day when it's over. What will I do then? 

This is exactly the reason why I am loathe to finish anything. It isn't laziness (well, maybe a bit!) it's the very real phobia of leaving something behind. Every time I finish a piece - my diss, my november NaNo, a ghostwriting project - my body goes into shock. It's quite terrifying. I've spent so long with that piece, and wrapped myself so completely up in it that it has become my entire world that, for an hour or a day, I struggle to function in a world without it. 

I'm the kind of person that likes having several projects on the go, doing a bit here and bit there, and never committing to finishing anything (my fanfiction.net profile is a key example of this). I struggle with endings, writing them and dealing with them. I am never satisfied. That's why fanfiction has been so liberating - it means nothing is ever finished; there's always prequals and sequals and What If oneshots. 

But real life, and real writing, doesn't allow for that - the purpose is to finish and move on. Let it go.

I don't think I'll ever learn how to do that without my body going into shock.

In other news, this is what I'm listening to today - Christina Perri's Human

  It feels pretty appropriate for my main character. I really like coming across songs randomly that just seem to fit.